My best friend wrote in a post about being at that awkward age where your not a college kid anymore but your not fully ready for full on adulthood and I couldn't agree more. Some days I wake up and want kids right now because I'm almost 28 and other days I'm so tired from work that I can't even imagine caring for an infant. I think sometimes I think I'm supposed to have kids now at my age so that's why I think about it so much. And that really is the wrong reason to bring any child into the world.
I work as an aide in a second grade classroom and I do love my job but make entirely way too little money and only work half of the day. This past week they had their recognition awards for outstanding staff. The teacher I work with nominated me but unfortunately I did not win. I was so overwhelmed with joy that she would even consider me for it. The things she wrote in the letter were so wonderful and I really started to feel so appreciated for what I do.
But then I started to think..I went to graduate school to be a school/guidance counselor. It's been TWO YEARS since I've graduated and I've given up looking for a job. A few reasons which include: I'm frustrated about not getting any interviews, I'm not really sure I even like the position anymore, and I am comfortable where I am.
I just never thought at age 27 almost 28 that I would be so lost on life. I'm not sure if I should have kids yet or wait, if I should go back to school or just try and find a different job, if I should stay where I'm at making so little and hope and pray I don't lose my job at the end of each year.
Getting engaged at 24 and saying I'll wait to get married a year after graduation so I would have a job and be settled sounded too good to be true. So did my theory of getting married at 25 and having kids at 27. This is just an awkward age!! People I know are either partying it up still or at home with their 2 or 3 kids. And I'm just in the middle wondering what is going on and where did time go?!
I guess I just need to take one day at a time and enjoy the ride because I'm not getting any younger. After all I really felt like my college years were just yesterday!
And this feels like just yesterday. Not 6 years ago!
When is being my age going to feel right and not so awkward?!
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